I was a young man, so eager to discover the world, so restless to try the new. Selfish ambitions were what was on my mind. To reach the top, be recognized, and be praised – oh, how I wished that time would come soon!
I journeyed through life. I worked hard. I sacrificed a lot. Until finally, I reached the top. I couldn’t believe it! My lifelong dream was then a reality. But… why was I still unhappy? I still felt emptiness inside. I thought, maybe what I had gotten was not enough yet. Maybe, I have to journey more. Maybe, I need to achieve more. Maybe when I get all my wants, I would be happy…
So I continued to travel, determined to get more. And fate has been kind to me. The fruit of my efforts were satisfactory. I should have been very happy by then, you would say. But I was still not. I was not yet satisfied. Again I thought, I probably don’t have enough yet. I travelled here and there… until I got tired. I stopped travelling. I paused and sat in one corner for awhile. Confused. Weeping. Asking.
When I thought I already had everything a man would want, then I realized that I am nothing. I am nothing in the eyes of God. When I thought I am already good enough, then I realized how wretched I am. I have disappointed Him. I have neglected Him. I have crucified Him…
Christ is so unique. He used the journey that I had to make me realize what I really needed. What I really yearned for all these years. What He really wanted me to become. He used the search that I engaged into for me to meet the people who would touch my being, who would enlighten my spirit… who would pray for my salvation.
Glory to God for He let His light shine upon me. He renewed me. He changed me. He cleansed my conscience, my thoughts and my desires. He led me to the face of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ.
Wealth, achievements, and recognition – I don’t aim for those things anymore. I am now aiming for my salvation. I am working now for Him. I am living now to serve Him.
I praise God for He has put my journey to an end. I have to journey back now. I have to pick-up the pieces. I have to be new so that when you, who used to be my companions in the uncertain journey, meet me again, you won’t ask me, “How’s your life now?” You won’t need to ask me about my life for you will see how God is working in me, how He is controlling my life… how happy I am for walking with Him.
My friends, I won’t ask you to stop dreaming, to stop aiming for success. Let His will be done. I know that God would use that journey of yours to enlighten your spirits just as He enlightened mine. He will let you taste success. He will let you travel with the world. He knows that in due time, you’ll come back to Him. You will realize that everything that you tried to get are all temporary. You will regret that you did not pay attention to my story… to my experience with my journey.
When our roads meet again someday, I pray that I would see you having that inner peace which I am having right now. I hope to hear you saying, “You were right. Jesus Christ is the only one I needed.” I hope and I pray that your awakening will come soon, for He is coming SOON! It might be too late then for you to repent.
My journey through life has ended. And it ended great. My journey through repentance and salvation has just begun. I hope to meet you in my new journey…
* Prime Journal - December 1990 and Koinonia - March 1991
2 comments:
Habang binabasa ko ang iyong testimony ay naalala ko ang isang kanta sa Papuri XIV album, the lyrics runs like this "subalit habang sarili'y punupuri"......(dko ko na maalala iba). Sana'y patuloy kang magpaalab ng damdamin ng mga tao na magmahal sa Diyos.
The song you mentioned is "Salamat Muli" from Papuri 16. I have that tape at home. The lyrics of the song has also ministered to me before.
The song was a personal testimony of the song writer, as I learned from the composer himself when he was intervieved at a DZAS program one time.
Anyway, salamat sa pagbahagi ng iyong komento. To God be the glory.
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