Sulat kay Nanay At Tatay

Nanay, Tatay

Sa aking murang gulang,

hayaan ninyo akong kayo ay pasalamatan.

Salamat sa malambot na unan

at mabangong higaan.

Sa payak at malinis na kagamitan,

sa maayos at masayang tahanan.

Salamat sa masarap na sinangag sa umaga, 
sa malamig na inumin sa tanghali,

at sa mainit na sabaw sa gabi.

Salamat sa mga pabaong pagkain at paalala,

sa pagbili ng ballpen, notebook at iba pa.

Sa panonood sa akin kung may pagtatanghal sa eskwela,

sa pagpayag na sa fieldtrip ay makasama.

Salamat sa pamaskong damit,

sa unipormeng hindi masikip.

Sa jacket tuwing panahon ng tag-lamig,

sa pamaymay at payong kung tag-init.

Salamat sa pagtuturo sa akin ng abakada,

sa pagtulong sa paggawa ng asignatura.

Sa pagtapos ng mga proyekto sa eskuwela,

at sa pagtitiyagang gisingin ako sa umaga .

Salamat sa alaalang hatid ng mga larawan,

ng mga lugar na ating pinuntahan.

Sa pagpasyal sa Jollibee at McDo kung minsan,

sa mga munting luho at hiling na inyong pinagbibigyan.

Salamat sa yakap at pagdamay kung may dinaramdam,

sa haplos at halik kung may karamdaman.

Sa pagpawi ng poot at lungkot minsan,

sa pagtuturo sa aking ngumiti at harapin lang ang laban.

 

Kung ako ma’y hindi sumusunod sa pinag-uutos n’yo minsan,

kung ako ma’y sumasagot sa inyo ng pabalang at nangangatwiran,

nais kong inyong malaman

na labis ko iyong pinagsisisihan.

Maaaring hindi ko kayo nauunawaan minsan,

hindi nabibigyang halaga ang ginagawa n’yo para sa aking kapakanan.

Ako sana’y inyong pagpasensiyahan,

hindi ko nais na ang damdamin ninyo’y masaktan.

Kaya nga’t sa inyo, ako’y nakikiusap

Sa paglalakbay ay patuloy n’yong samahan,

Patuloy na ituwid ang mga maling kaisipan,

Patuloy na gabayan sa pagharap sa kinabukasan.

Marami pa akong hindi nalalaman,

may takot pa rin akong nararamdaman.

Hindi ko pa kayang mag-isang makipagsapalaran,

Ako’y bata pa po lamang,

lubos ko kayong kailangan.

Nanay, Tatay,

Nahihiya man akong sabihin minsan,

dahil baka isiping baduy ng aking mga kaibigan,

Nais kong inyong malaman na...

 “Mahal na mahal ko po kayo!”

Itong aming nakamit na karangalan,

iniaalay namin sa inyo.

Di nga ba’t kayo ang unang nagsabi

at naniwalang magaling ako?

O, huwag na kayong magtalo,

kung ako’y nagmana kanino

Basta, tanggapin n’yo ang pagpupugay ko.

Isang matikas na pagsaludo!

Note:  Read by my son, Pete, during the awarding of RPLAI scholars for SY 2012-2013.  I've searched the net for a material that he could read, parang tugon doon sa sumikat na Sulat ng Magulang sa Anak.  Kaya lang, hindi appropriate for his age yung laman ng liham na nakita ko.  So I decided to make my own version.

Nanay Cela

What:              Interment

Who:               Nanay Marcela

When:             November 12, 2011, 10:30 am

Where:            Paraiso Memorial Park

Awit:

Lubhang nagdadalamhati ang kaluluwa ko
At tigib ng kapanglawan ang aking puso
Ako'y naluluoy sa pasan kong bagabag
Lipirin mo ako lakas ay igawad

Pag-iyak ay magtatagal ng magdamag
Ngunit galak ay dumarating sa umaga

Nalalaman ko ang ibig ko'y di lingid sa'yo
Kalugdan mo ang tiwala ko at iligtas ako
Iyong tinutunghan ang aking pagdaramdam
Diyos sa iyo lamang umasa akong mainam

Dumami man ang suliranin
Ako ay iyong hanguin
Hindi na ako madadaig
Dahil sa Iyo nananalig

-        “Galak ay Dumarating”, CCM Worship Team

Tala ng buhay:

Si Lola Marcela ay anak nina Bernardo Taligatos at Ofelia Tabasa.  Isinilang siya noong September 5, 1942 sa Brgy. Cajilo, Bayan ng Makato, Lalawigan ng Aklan.  Panganay siya sa sampung magkakapatid na sina Flordeliza, Renato (+), Nympha (+), Celia, Elenita (+), Florita, Felber, Bella at Lorifel (+).

Taong 1958, sa edad na labing anim, lumuwas si Lola Cela ng Maynila para magtrabaho.  Una siyang namasukan bilang kasambahay sa kanyang mga kamag-anak.  Naging kawani rin siya sa isang pabrika sa Mandaluyong at maging sa San Juan.  Hanggang sa mapasok siya bilang mananahi noong 1963 sa Phil Gloves, Inc., patahian ng mga guwantes sa may Concepcion, Marikina.  Nagtrabaho siya roon hanggang sa magsara ito noong 1989.

Noong 1962, nakilala niya sa Maynila ang aming Lolo Nonoy na kanya ring kababayan sa probinsya ng Aklan.  Ikinasal sila noong December 13, 1964 sa Christ the King Church sa Project 7, Quezon City.  Biniyayaan sila ng limang anak:  sina Maria Theresa, namatay rin pagkasilang noong 1965; Tonette, ipinanganak noong June 13, 1966; Annie, ipinanganak noong September 5, 1969;  Junior, ipinanganak noong August 1, 1972; at Glenda, ipinanganak noong June 5, 1982 subalit namatay rin pagkalipas ng pitong buwan.

Nanirahan sina Lola Cela at Lolo Nonoy, kapiling ang kanilang mga anak, sa San Francisco Del Monte, Quezon City, noong ikinasal;  sa Mandaluyong, mula 1964 to 1967; sa Little Baguio, San Juan, mula 1967 to 1976; sa Cupang, Antipolo, mula 1976 to 1980; sa Marikina Heights, Marikina, mula 1980 to 1984; at dito sa San Mateo, Rizal, mula 1984 hanggang sa kasalukuyan.

Habang nagtatrabaho noon sa pabrika, at maging pagkatapos niyang mag-resign doon, sari-saring trabaho at pagtitinda rin ang kanyang ginawa upang tulungan ang aming Lolo Nonoy na itaguyod ang kanilang pamilya:  nagtinda siya ng mga kutkutin sa kanyang mga katrabaho sa pabrika (mani, kornik, butong pakwan), nagtinda siya ng T-shirts na kanyang hinahango sa Pasig Market, nanahi ng mga bag at wallet, nanahi ng basahan at doormat, at nagtinda ng meryenda (turon, banana que, okoy) at ulam.  Ganito kasipag ang aming Lola Cela. 

At nito ngang buwan ng Agosto, taong kasalukuyan, ay napansin ng kanyang pamilya ang pagkakaroon ng bukol sa leeg ni Lola Cela.  Buwan ng Setyembre, tatlong beses siyang na naipa-check up sa Amang Rodriguez Hospital sa Marikina City.  Panay na ang kanyang pag-ubo noon at hirap na siyang lumunok ng pagkain, gamot at maging ng tubig.  Noong October 5, isinugod siya sa nasabing ospital dahil sa nahihirapan na siyang huminga.  Hypothyroidism ang initial diagnosis sa kanya.  October 10, inilipat siya sa ICU at isinailalim sa maraming pagsusuri.

Nung naglaon, napag-alaman na thyroid cancer ang tunay na sakit ni Lola Cela.  Tinapat na ng mga doktor na hindi maganda ang kalagayan ni Lola Cela, na maaring hindi na siya magtagal.  Sinikap na lamang ng mga doktor na mapauwi si Lola upang makapiling nito ang kanyang pamilya. November 5, eksaktong isang buwan niya sa ospital, naiuwi siya sa kanyang tahanan.  Makalipas ang labing isang oras, alas tres ng madaling araw noong November 6, habang nakapaligid sa kanya ang kanyang asawa at tatlong anak, tuluyan nang kinuha ng Panginoon si Lola Cela.  

(binasa ng mga apong sina Anne, Grace, King, Ruth & Pete)

Eulogy:

“Nagkakilala kami ni Marcela sa Phil. Gloves.  Doon kami naging matalik na magkaibigan.  Kilala ko ang kanyang pamilya, kilala rin niya ang aking asawa’t mga anak.  Naging napakabait niyang kaibigan.  Kahit minsan, hindi kami nag-away niyan.”

-  Ligaya, matalik na kaibigan

“Mami-miss namin ang aming Ate – ang kanyang paggabay at pagtawa.  Lagi siyang nariyan para sa amin.  Napakabait niya sa aming lahat.”

-  Baby, isa sa mga kapatid

“Lola, salamat sa sobra-sobrang pagmamahal na ibinigay mo sa amin.  Salamat dahil hindi ka nawala sa tabi namin.  Salamat sa pagtuturo sa amin ng tama.  Hinding-hindi ka namin malilimutan, Lola.  Ang goto mo sa umaga, ang banana que at turon mo sa meryenda, ang sinigang na bangus at paksiw mo sa hapunan, ay lagi naming maaalala.  Salamat, Lola.  Sa pagdamay, sa pagsabay sa tawanan at kalungkutan, sa walang sawang pag-aaruga, at sa pag-iintindi.  Salamat sa pagpayong sa amin, umaraw man o umulan.  Mami-miss ka namin, Lola.  Alam naming masaya ka na sa langit kasama ang Panginoon.  Mahal na mahal ka namin, Lola.  Maraming salamat sa lahat.” 

-  Joy, panganay na apo

“Noong nandoroon kami sa ospital, laging sinasabi ng mga tao at nurses doon na napakapalad raw ng nanay namin sa amin, dahil hindi namin siya pinababayaan.  Na lagi namin siyang binabantayan.  Pero sa isip ko, sinasabi ko, that that is what my Nanay deserves…  Dahil napakabait niya sa amin.  Kaya kahit hirap na hirap na kami noon habang naka-confine sya, … sige lang.  Because Nanay deserves the best from us.  Ganoon siya kabait na magulang...  Mami-miss natin siya, pero alalahanin na lang natin yung mga magagandang bagay na naranasan natin kapiling siya.  Masaya na siya sa langit, kapiling ang Panginoon.” 

-  Junior, bunsong anak

“Nagpapasalamat ako dahil nagkasama kami sa mahabang panahon.  Kahit minsan, … hindi kami nagkahiwalay o nag-away.  Masaya kami, kapiling ang mga anak namin.”  

-        -  Fred, mahal na asawa

Thanksgiving:

“Sa lahat ng nakiramay sa amin, sa mga nagdasal at tumulong, maraming-marami pong salamat.  Ang Diyos na po ang bahala sa inyong lahat.”

-  Tonette at Annie, mga anak

Epitaph:

MARCELA TABANERA

September 5, 1942 – November 6, 2011

“The Lord has you in his divine keeping.”

Thankful Heart

We as parents often shower our kids with gifts on every occasion possible – birthdays, Christmas, graduation, etc.  At times, even without any reason to celebrate, we buy things for them.  We do it simply because we love them and we want them to be happy.

And since they often obtain things from us, they tend to become less appreciative already.  They might say “thank you” but we can feel that it is devoid of feelings.  There’s not much gusto anymore with their reaction.  At times, they would even whine like, “Why did you not buy this or that kind?” or “It isn’t quite pretty.”

But I realized that most of us are not as grateful also with the things that we get.  We even complain instead of being thankful.  “Ay, bakit hindi na ganoon kaganda ‘yung bigas na ipinamigay?” “Bakit P200 lang yung anniversary gift?”  “Kailan ba tataas yung cash gift sa service awardee?”  Why such reactions? Because some think of it as their right.  That they are entitled to it. That they deserve to be given much.  That it is the company’s obligation to do such. 

But why can’t we be thankful instead?  That at least, we received something, no matter how simple that is?  Why don’t we realize that what was given was really a “gift”, and not a “right” or something that is due to us?  It is that plain and simple.  That way, we can learn to really be grateful for anything that is given to us.

The Bible says that we do not deserve anything.  Everything is a gift from God.  1 Thessalonians 5:18 exhorts us to:

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

As much as I can, I express gratitude to the Lord in everything like when I wake up in the morning, I say “Thank you, Lord.”  When I am able to do my morning ritual in the rest room, I say “Thank you, Lord.” When I was able to drive safely and arrive at my destination, I say “Thank you, Lord.”  Whenever I am about to eat, and even after I got full with my meal, I say “Thank you, Lord.”  Even as I lay down on my bed to rest and sleep at night, I still say “Thank you, Lord.”

And so finally, I was able to finish this article.  What do you think shall I say?  “Thank you, Lord.”

(Binhing Rizal - June 2011 issue)

Que Professor, Que Horror

Rabies Vaccine

A week before the church went to Laoag for the VBS Outreach, our son was bitten by a dog of our neighbor.  My wife just heard him scream from outside, like something really terrible had happened to him.  My daughter described his shriek like “he was about to die”.  He ran to our house holding his left hand, with blood gushing from it.  His hand was not just bruised or scratched by the bite.  It was punctured buy the fangs of the dog.  Tsk!  Tsk!

He was rushed by our neighbor to a clinic near our place, accompanied by my wife.  An anti-tetanus injection and rabies vaccine was administered to him.  The second shot of the rabies vaccine was scheduled within that week.  However, the third and last shot was slated on the following Monday so we asked the doctor if the injection can be done earlier, since we will already be in Ilocos on the scheduled date.  Hindi raw puwede.   And so we just prayed that we would be able to find a clinic or a hospital in Laoag that has that vaccination.

Laoag

May 2, 2011, we were already in Laoag.  We asked around for the nearest hospital with rabies injection.  The folks there pointed us to the Laoag Provincial Hospital, a 20-minute ride via tricycle from where we were staying.  We arrived at the hospital at around 11:30 am.  I approached the Information Desk and we were lead to the Out-Patient Department of the hospital.  The place was already filled with people -  bata at matanda, lalaki at babae, mga sanggol at mga buntis.  Even the Animal Bite Center, where we lined up for treatment, was full.  There were no more seats available so we just stood and pressed our backs there on the wall.  “Ano-anong hayop kaya ang nakakagat sa mga taong naririto?”, I wondered.

After a while, I asked an elderly woman sitting outside the room on where I could go to inquire.  She told me to go to the nurse inside the room.  I gently knocked on the door before I went in.  I spoke to the nurse and told her about our son’s case, that he would need the third shot of the rabies vaccine that day.  She asked for the doctor’s prescription and I handed it to her.  I must say that she was very accommodating.  She asked for my son’s name and wrote it on a paper.  Probably noticing that I was conversing with her in Tagalog, not in their Ilocano dialect, she queried if we were just vacationing there in Laoag.  I said, “Yes, we’re from Manila.”  Then, she asked us to just wait outside, “Hintayin n’yo na lang pong tawagin ang pangalan niya.”

At past 12 noon, she announced to the patients outside the room that we would have to wait till 1 pm for the doctor is out for lunch.  "Bunso" was already hungry so I bought some snacks for him from the sari-sari store outside the hospital.  Since he was a bit tired already, he fell asleep on my wife’s lap.  No complaining or murmuring or whatsoever can be heard from the “madlang people”.  They were just conversing quietly in Ilocano (I felt like I was in a foreign country because I do not understand what they were saying.  I just smiled at them).  Then, the horror came when a certain man of stature arrived.

His Highness

The man brought his “apo” who was bitten by a cat.  We just heard him banging the door of the Animal Bite Center, throwing vindictive statements to the nurse on duty.  He was saying that the nurse is not courteous.  Apparently, he was demanding for the doctor but the nurse said that the doctor is out, which is true.  Based on what I have understood and observed, this was how their conversation went:

His Highness:  Ano’ng oras darating ang doktor?!

Poor Nurse:     Hindi ko ho alam.  Out ho siya for lunch.

His Highness:  Ano’ng oras nga!

Poor Nurse:     Hindi ko nga ho alam.  Maghintay lang po kayo.

His Highness:   Bakit ganyan ka makipag-usap?!  Wala kang galang!

Poor Nurse:     Sinasabi ko nga po, hindi ko po alam kung ano’ng oras ang balik ng doktor.  Maghintay lang po tayo.  Tatawagin na lang ang pangalan ng pasyente ninyo.

His Highness:   Maghintay?!  Eh, emergency nga itong apo ko!  Dapat ninyo kaming unahin!

As I look at the girl she referred to as his “apo”, mukhang hindi naman emergency case. Parang kalmot lang naman!   Natatawa pa nga yung nanay nung dalagita.  Siguro nahihiya o naaaliw sa eksenang ginagawa ng kamag-anak niya.

Poor Nurse:     Mayroon po tayong pila.  Kung gusto ninyong mauna, kausapin nyo ‘yang mga taong naghihintay sa labas.  Kanina pa ho sila rito.

Sa isip-isip ko, “Oo nga.  Pare-pareho naman kaming may pasyente.  Pare-pareho naman kaming pagod at gutom na.  Alangan namang mauna pa siya!  Sinusuwerte siya!”

His Highness:   Kaya nga eh.  And daming pasyente rito!  Dapat hindi kayo nagbe-break.  When you took your oath as nurses, you swore to serve the public at all times.  You should not have been allowed to have lunch breaks in the first place! (Sabay sarado ng pintuan ng kuwarto.  Malakas.  Blag!)

Poor Nurse

Pero hindi nagpatalo yung nurse.  Binuksan uli yung pinto.  Nangatwiran, pero sa malumanay na paraan.

Poor Nurse:  For your information sir, noong pinirmahan ko ang kontrata ko dito sa hospital, it was clearly stated there that I am entitled to a 30 minute break.  Kaparatan ko iyon!

True, the labor law provides that basic right to workers.  Grabe naman mag-demand si “Lolo”.  Pati lunch-break nung tao, gustong ipagkait.  Sobra!

His Highness:   Sumasagot ka pa!  What’s your name?!  I’ll report you to the authorities!

Taas noong binanggit nung nurse yung pangalan niya.  “My name is ___.”  Sa pagkakataong iyon, gusto kong tumayo at palakpakan si “Poor Nurse”.  Bumilib ako sa katapangan niya.  Hindi siya nagpasindak sa mayabang na lolo.  Tapos, isinara na niya yung kuwarto, ini-lock.  Marahan niyang ginawa iyon pero alam mong nagpipigil lang siya ng galit.  Kawawa naman…

Meanwhile, the self-righteous man got his cellphone from his handbag.  Opo, handbag po.  Isa po siyang sirena.  Jeje.  He dialed a number and talked to somebody whom I assume is an official from the hospital.  Wow, maraming connect si Madam!

His Highness:   Yes, this is ___.  I’m here in the Animal Bite Center.  I have an emergency here but the nurse is “tonta”…  Yes, wala siyang galang!  Ayaw kaming asikasuhin...  Yes, her name is ___…  Yes, … Thanks.

After his conversation with his “amiga”, the horror continued.

Que Professor

Since the nurse was already inside and the door was locked, kami naman na naghihintay ang binalingan niya.  He continued to draw attention by delivering a monologue, este, lecture pala.  “Pampam” talaga! (Pampam is a pinoy slang for “papansin”.)

His Highness:  Kaya kayo, huwag kayong papayag na mamaliitin kayo, na susungit-sungitan lang kayo ng mga taong ganyan.  Karapatan ninyong makakuha ng serbisyong pangkalusugan.  Tayo ang nagpapasuweldo sa mga taong iyan!  Huwag ninyong hahayaang insultuhin kayo!

Teka, sino ba ang nagsungit?  Di ba siya?!  Sino ba ang nang-insulto at nanduro?  Siya!  Binabaligtad niya ang mga pangyayari.  Nakakaasar!

His Highness:  Porke ba naka-short lang ako at naka-Tshirt, ganoon na niya ako tratuhin.  Hindi niya ako kilala!  (Palakad-lakad pa siya, parang rumarampa!)  Que professor in De La Salle!  Que professor in Unibersidad ng Pilipinas. I had been teaching there for decades.  Blah-blah-blah... 

‘Yon!  Kaya naman pala maangas, que professor pala!  Que horror!  Kaya pala ang taas ng lipad!  Ang taas ng tingin sa sarili! 

His Highness:  And my companion here (pointing to his pal who was also a “sirena”), ayaw niyang papasukin sa loob!  To think that my friend here is a principal!  Walang galang ang babaeng ‘yan! Blah, blah, blah…

Que professor? So what!  Que principal?  Kailangan pa bang ipagsigawan ‘yon?!  Para saan?  He just wanted to brag, that’s plain and simple!  Isa siya sa pinakamayabang na taong nakilala ko. 

Nai-imagine ko si Willie Revillame sa kanya.  Yung tipong nagpapaka-humble kunwari, tapos sasabihin, “Ayaw ko sanang sabihin ito pero masyado na akong inaapi.  Hindi alam ng marami na nag-donate ako ng 20 million sa ganito, sa ganyan.  Na marami akong natutulungang tao.  Hindi ninyo alam yan!” 

Que Horror

I was sighing in anger the whole time.  Pikon na pikon talaga ako!  Parang gusto kong mag-walk out sa lugar.  Gusto kong tawagin yung guard sa ibaba para pigilan ang taong iyon.  I can no longer endure listening to his crooked ideas and baseless rants.  (Mabuti na nga lang at Ilokano yung karamihan ng salitang ginamit niya sa “lecture”.  Hindi ko naintindihan lahat.) 

There came a point that I covered my ears and shook my head because he was really full of conceit.  Ugh!  I just looked away in disgust.  Yung parang mababali na ang leeg ko dahil sa sobrang piling ng mukha ko sa kanan!  Para hindi ko siya makita. 

And I know that he noticed it.  That I was not a fan of his.  He was able to catch the full attention of everybody in the room, except me and my wife.  We did not give him an audience.  Kahit napapansin kong nakatingin siya sa puwesto namin, hindi ko siya tinitingnan.  Nagkukuwentuhan na lang kami ni misis.  Call me rude, but I really cannot stand his pompous stance!

Maya-maya, tinawag na sila sa loob.  “Ganun!  Mauuna pa sila sa amin?  At sa iba pang nandoroon na matiyagang nakapila, na ang iba ay matatanda pa?”  Sigurado, tinawagan na nung “connect” ni professor yung nurse at doctor para asikasuhin na sila.  Malakas talaga!  Ibang klase!  Hhmp!

But I kept my calm.  I decided not to make a scene, kahit alam kong unfair yung mga nangyayari. I just entrusted to the Lord the situation.  And my wife was there beside me to keep me calm.  Tinatawanan na nga lang namin eh.  Baluktot kasi talaga yung reasoning nung mama.  Parang may hablig!

When his “apo” was  already treated for the scratch, este, for the bite, and he and his entourage went out of the room, there was an air of pride in him.  Parang sinasabi, “O hah!  Wala kayo!  O hah!  Malakas ako dito!”  And he again began his trash talk.  Nakatingin sa akin.  I again took my gaze away.  He continued his rants.  Di ko nga alam kung minumura na niya ako eh.  Ilokano kasi ang salita niya.

Hanggang sa pagbaba niya ng hagdanan, salita pa rin siya ng salita.  Parang gustong talaga niyang makumbinsi akong tumingin at paniwalaan siya.  He just can’t accept the fact that somebody has just ignored him, despite his stature in life!  Neknek niya! 

Hanggang nawala na siya sa aming paningin.  “Hay, salamat!” 

Pero, bumalik uli makalipas ang ilang segundo.  Naman!  Nanatili doon sa hagdan, mga isang hakbang paakyat.  Nag-monologue na naman.  Natatawa na ako kasi ayaw tumigil.  He looked like a fool!  Pero napagod na rin.  Tuluyan nang naglaho.  Totoo na talaga! 

Pero kahit wala na siya talagang-talaga, parang naririnig ko pa rin ang boses niya sa paligid.  Parang nag-e-echo!  I just shook my head. 

After a while, my son’s name was called inside the room.  That was around 2:30 already.  And we have not yet taken our lunch!  “Gutom na kami.”

Pagkatapos maturukan ang anak ko, sinimplehan kong kausapin yung nurse.  I told her, “Wala kang ginawang masama kanina.  Masyado lang mayabang yung taong iyon.  Bilib ako sa haba ng pasensya mo.”  She just returned my smile.  Tapos niyon, nagpaalam na kami at nagpasalamat. 

Truth

You know, I am no respecter of people.  We were created and are treated equally by the Lord.  I will not bow down or kiss the foot of someone just because he is of noble birth or of great importance in the society.  More so if the view of that someone is twisted.      

“Mockers are proud and haughty; they act with boundless arrogance.”

-  Proverbs 21:24 (NLT)

But how did I kept my calmness?  I held on to God’s promise that He is in control. That he knows and sees. 

“Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, 

‘Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.’” 

-  Romans 12:19

I also came to realize that “Que Professor” is just like Satan who hurls insults and lies to us.  “Ito ka!  Ganito ka!” And sometimes we believe him - that we’ve really done something wrong, that we’re really unworthy.  But we should always remember where we stand in the Lord.

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."  

 -  Psalm 103:12 (NIV)

Just like the nurse there in Laoag, we should not be terrified.  We should stand on our ground. 

"LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup; you have made my lot secure. 
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; 
surely I have a delightful inheritance. I will praise the LORD, who counsels me; 
even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the LORD always before me. 

Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken." 

- Psalm 16:5-8

Postscript:  

I got the real name of “His Highness” from the people there who were forced to listen to his speech.  He is quite known by a lot of them.  But I will not divulge his identity here.  But my Lord knows his identity and his character…

Dengue - Ruthie

Allergy

Before lunch time of February 24, I received a call from the guidance counselor of the school, informing me that Ruthie has fever and that they are going to bring her home. The school was in Rodriguez Rizal that time for a 2-day retreat. I said “ok”, thinking that it was just an ordinary fever. That probably, she just got exhausted from the activities that they have done, that she would just need to rest. I was even willing to bring her back to the camp, if ever she would want to.

Noong dumating ako sa bahay mula sa opisina, nadatnan ko siyang nakahiga, mukhang pagod ang hitsura. Mataas ang lagnat. Puno ng rashes ang mukha at katawan nito. Hindi siya ordinaryong rashes, pantal siya. Inakala namin na nahigad siya or nakagat ng kung anong insekto. Wala rin siyang tigil sa pagkamot.

That night, we brought her to the nearest clinic in our town for check up. Sinaksakan siya ng gamot para sa allergy. The doctor told us that the medicine will relieve her from itch. We were asked to go back after three days, for follow-up check up.

Friday and Saturday had passed. She still had fever, though no longer as high as before. She just laid there in her bed the whole time, feeling weak, not eating much. About two weeks before that time, she had flu. She had stayed in bed for three days, and on the fourth day, she just got up and was already ok, makulit na ulit. And so we were expecting that the same thing would happen, that she would recover soon.

Hanggang umabot ang Sunday. Ganoon pa rin siya – may lagnat, nanghihina, ayaw kumain, masakit ang tiyan. We brought her to the doctor para ipa-laboratory yung dugo niya. Pero sarado ang mga laboratory clinics. And so we just went home, planning to just bring her to the clinic on the following day.

Pero noong gabi, nagsuka na siya. Nagpasya kami ng asawa ko na dalhin na siya sa ospital, sa Amang Rodriguez Memorial Medical Center. Iniwan namin si Gracie at si Bunso sa mga magulang ko.

(photo sourced from the internet)

Emergency Room

Pagdating doon sa Emergency Room ng ospital, tiningnan naman siya agad ng duktor. Binigyan kami ng request para ipa-test ang blood and urine niya. Nakuhanan siya ng dugo ng mga alas-diyes ng gabi. Pero yung urine sample niya, matagal bago namin nai-submit. Hindi kasi siya maka-ihi. Siguro, around 12 midnight na namin na submit yung sample. Yung unang result ng CBC, nakuha namin ng around 1 am. Mataas naman yung platelet count niya, normal naman daw. But her white-blood cells (WBC count), medyo mababa. At nung lumabas yung result ng urinalysis, infected daw yung ihi niya. Sinaksakan na rin siya ng suwero, dehydrated na kasi siya.

Ipinaulit yung CBC. Kinuhanan ulit siya ng blood sample. The result – her platelet count is still normal but is decreasing, and her white and red blood cells are below normal. Sabi ng duktor, “Dengue na po, stage 2. Kailangan na po siyang i-admit sa hospital.” Umaga na iyon, mga 7 am.

Noong time na iyon, sarado ang ward ng hospital. Hindi sila nag-aadmit, Hospital Holiday daw sa Pediatric Ward. Mayroon daw bacteria sa loob ng mga kuwarto. Tatlo na raw ang mortalities nila and yung ibang pasyente, mabagal daw yung recovery. We have no choice but to place her sa private room. But if we would insist that she be placed on the Charity Ward, we would be asked to sign a waiver, that the hospital and the doctors will not be held liable for any untoward incidents - like if our child would worsen, or if she contacts the bacteria while inside the room. Nakakatakot!

Philhealth Ward

When I told the doctor that I am a member of Philhealth, she mentioned about the Philhealth Ward. She explained that the room is covered by PHIC but the professional fees of the doctor is not, which is around P1,500 to P2,000 per day. I computed that if my daughter would stay there for at least 1 week, we would have to pay P10,000 to 12,000 for the doctors alone. Whew!

We decided na ipa-admit na siya doon, dahil tiyak na mas mahal sa ibang private hospital. We waited while the doctor to be assigned for Ruthie was being arranged and the room was being readied. Grabe! Tatlong oras din kaming naghintay. Kawawa naman ang anak ko. Doon lang siya nakahiga sa kamang walang sapin, na hinigaan na tiyak ng kung sino-sinong pasyenteng pumasok sa E.R.. Wala siyang kumot o unan. She can’t even stretch her legs because she was sharing the bed with another patient. Poor Ruthie!

Mga 10 am na siya nadala sa loob ng Philhealth Ward. Mga walong beds rin ang naroon, but it was fully airconditioned. May divider na kurtina ang bawat pasyente. Malinis. May sariling C.R. yung kuwarto. May lounge area pa sa labas ng room. Naks! I thought, “At least, my daughter would be comfortable here and my wife could rest a bit habang nagbababantay.”

When everything had been settled, I left for home. Maysakit din kasi si Bunso, may lagnat din. Kagabi pa namin siya iniwan sa bahay, kasama ang Ate niya at ang mga magulang ko.

After a few hours, my wife called, informing me that Ruthie would need to be transferred to the ICU.

ICU

Intensive Care Unit? ICU? Bumababa raw kasi ang blood pressure ni Ruthie. They have to constantly monitor her. My wife was very much concerned. Yung Private ICU, P10,000 daw per day. Joke yun?! Hindi raw. Sabi ko sa asawa ko, hindi namin kakayanin. Mabuti at available naman yung Pedia ICU (PICU). Doon dinala ang anak namin.

About 10 babies were inside the ICU. Ilan sa mga babies, may mga tubo sa bibig, to help them breath. Yung iba, nasa incubator, mga premature marahil dahil maliliit. Yung iba, nasa tapat ng ilawan, may takip yung mga mata, tahimik na umiiyak. Sari-saring aparato ang nasa paligid. Yung anak ko, ang natatanging bata sa loob, nandoon sa isang sulok.

Noong makita ko si Ruthie, she was very much asleep. But her face looks so pale, mukhang hinang hina. Apat na suwero ang nakasabit sa gilid ng kama niya, nakakabit sa kanyang dalawang braso. Kinabitan rin siya ng oxygen sa may ilong, nahihirapan daw kasi itong huminga.

A catheter was also attached to her, so she won’t have to rise up and get dizzy when she needs to urinate. When the tube was inserted inside her, as my wife told me, Ruthie did not cry. But she grimaced in pain, holding her mother’s hand. Ouch!

Stage 3

The following day, when I had a chance to talk to the doctor, I asked about the condition of my daughter. “Bakit kailangan po siyang i-ICU, dahil lang po ba sa kanyang blood pressure?” And the doctor answered: “Tatay, stage 3 na po ang dengue ng anak ninyo. Yung pagbaba ng blood pressure ay epekto lamang po ng dengue, na isang virus. Inaatake na ng virus ang katawan ng anak ninyo. The body is in shock, affecting her internal organs.”

Shock? Ano ba iyon? Nayayanig na ang katawan ng anak ko? (Tiningnan ko kailan lang sa internet ang technical definition nito. It says, “Shock is a serious condition in which blood pressure is very low and not enough blood flows to the body's organs and tissues. Untreated, shock may result in death.”)

Upon hearing this from the doctor, I realized that her case is really serious. Outwardly, she may look ok and that she seems to be recovering, but inside, the virus is attacking her inner parts. I dawned on me that dengue is not just about high fever and low platelet counts. I began to worry.

Ruthie went through a number of laboratory tests. CBC tests were done twice a day. They get blood samples from her arm, from her toes, from her fingers – kung saan makaka-extract sila ng dugo. A chest x-ray was also done on her, to check her lungs. Na-check na may tubig na sa kanyang baga. She was having a hard time breathing so she also underwent some tests for her heart, ECG and another one (I can no longer recall what it was called). They checked that her heart is a bit swollen. All of these are complications of the dengue virus.

Prayer

I went to the rest room. Basa ang sahig doon, mabaho at marumi ang paligid. But still, in the corner of that place, I found solace in the presence of my God.

I prayed, “Lord, you are the One who created my Ruthie. You know every part of her being. You can heal her body.” I was crying. Pinipigil ko ang hikbi ko dahil ayaw kong marinig ako ng ibang tao na pumapasok doon sa C.R.. But the tears just kept running. “Hindi ko alam ang gagawin ko, Panginoon. Maawa ka sa kalagayan ng anak ko.”

That time, wala ang asawa ko. Umuwi siya sa bahay ng nanay niya para umidlip sandali. Tapos, wala rin akong natatanggap na text messages mula sa mga kaibigan at kamag-anak namin (yun pala, napuno na yung inbox ko). Wala akong malabasan ng saloobin at pangamba ko.

But the Lord was with me that time. I felt his presence and his comfort, even there inside the dirty comfort room. And I knew that a lot of people were praying for her healing. I no longer worried.

Medicines

Sabi ng duktor, wala raw gamot sa dengue. Only her body can heal itself. Kailangan lang magpalakas ng anak ko, with enough food and liquid intake. The doctors said that they just need to deal with the effects of the dengue on her system and stabilize her condition.

Sunod-sunod ang reseta ng mga gamot. Kung ano-ano. The doctors were to trying to explain to me what the medicines were for but I could not comprehend them. Basta, we need to buy them. ASAP.

May ipinabiling tig-P800 plus ang isa. Noong una, available pa sa pharmacy ng ospital. Nakabili kami doon ng lima pero naubos din kalaunan. Sa apat pang botika na pinuntahan ko, wala rin. Sa Mercury Drug, hindi rin daw available sa branch na iyon. Itinuro ako sa isang branch, sa Q Plaza sa Cainta. Kinailangan kong maglakad ng kaunti, pumila sa sakayan ng jeep, umakyat at bumaba ng footbridge, at maglakad uli ng malayo. Ganoon din pabalik. Whew! Pawis na pawis ako.

Tapos, naubos na din yung stock ng nasabing branch ng Mercury (I was able to buy 4 bags). Ang pinakamalapit na mabibilhan raw ay sa may Philcoa. Ang layo! Mabuti na lang at may nakapagsabi na available daw iyon sa isang private hospital malapit doon. Mayroon nga pero P1,200 plus na ang halaga. Bumili pa rin ako. Nakabili kami doon ng mga limang bag, kasama na yung pagbili ng asawa ko doon ng 2 bag noong mga 12:30 ng umaga nang Miyerkules.

Mayroon ding ipinabili na tig-P3,200 plus ang isa. Tatlo. Human Albumin, ayon sa pangalang nakalagay sa botelya. Akala ko nga nagkamali lang ako ng rinig, pero iyon talaga ang halaga. Kaya ko pa ba? “Lord, help us…”

May iba’t iba pang ipinabibili. Labas pasok kami ng ospital para bumili nung nasa reseta. Nakakapagod! At unti-unti, lumilipad ang hawak naming pera.

Help

Isa-isang dumating ang mga bisita – kamag-anak at kaibigan. Karamihan, may mga dalang prutas, pagkain at Gatorade drinks for Ruthie. Kasama na rin doon yung mga nagbibigay ng comfort at pag-alalay, pinalalakas ang loob naming mag-asawa. May iba na nagte-text, nangungumusta, nagbibigay ng encouragement.

Yung iba naman, dahil nalaman nilang naipasok sa ICU ang anak ko, nag-aabot ng pera. May malalaking halaga, may maliliit. Alam ko na ang iba sa kanila ay gipit din pero nakuha pa rin nilang magbigay, sa abot ng kanilang makakaya. May nagbigay nga ng P100, pero very much appreciated iyon kasi alam din naman namin ang kalagayan nila. My wife and I were really touched by their generosity.

I was telling my wife that the Lord is really faithful to us. We didn’t have to beg from people for money, or to some politicians, just so we can buy the needed medicines for Ruthie. Hindi namin naranasang magmakaawa sa mga tao. Help just came. “Thank you, Lord.”

Unlike those that we’ve met in the hospital who constantly cries because they do not have the needed resources. Naririnig namin silang nagmamakaawa sa mga kausap nila sa telepono para lang makautang. Para patuloy na mabuhay ang anak nila. Yung iba naman, umiiyak na lang dahil walang-wala talaga silang makukunan. Ang hirap pakinggan at pagmasdan. Nakakadurog ng puso.

Umabot ng P30,000 plus ang ginastos namin para sa gamot. Oo, nakapangutang ako sa ibang tao at sa kumpanyang aking pinapasukan. Pero hindi namin mairaraos ang malaking gastusin na iyon kung wala ang mga taong tumulong. The Lord bless them!

Death

Before my daughter was admitted to the ICU, an eight year-old girl was confined there in the same room. She also had Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever (DHF) III. She succumbed to death on the 2nd day, a day before Ruthie was placed there. We even saw the child’s mother when she went to the doctors one time to have them sign some papers. She was still grieving.

On Ruthie’s 3rd day in the ICU, another child was brought inside. She was Kyla, a six year-old girl from Concepcion Marikina. She was loud, complaining about all the tubes attached to her. She was begging for water but she was not allowed to have it, as per order of the doctors. Again, on the 2nd day, she passed out. Silent cries from her loved ones filled the room.

I witnessed how Kyla struggled to live and how slowly her life ebbed away. She was lying next to Ruthie’s bed. I saw how her father bid her goodbye. When she finally died, I again cried. I felt sorry for her parents, and for her lolas and titas who were all there.

But I was also crying because of gratitude to God, for sparing my daughter from death. What happened to the two girls could have happened to Ruthie. Looking at her face, I was overwhelmed with grief at the thought of losing her and with joy at the fact that she is still with us, alive. I was just in awe for God’s merciful hand in healing our precious daughter (her blood pressure was already stable that time).

With all the commotion and emotion inside the ICU, Ruthie was just there sleeping like a baby. Her face now radiates with peacefulness. Praise you, my Lord.

(We just learned that another girl with DHF III, aged 12, also died from the ICU. Ipinasok siya doon a day before we were discharged from the hospital. Sigh.)

Food

When she woke up, I asked her to eat. Sabi ko sa kanya, “Kailangan nating labanan si dengue na nasa katawan mo. Kailangang kumain ka para lumakas ka, para matalo natin si virus. Kunwari, superhero si ‘food’ na tatalo sa mga kalaban niyang dengue”. Pinilit ko rin siyang painumin ng tubig, paunti-unti. Dalawang lagok, tatlong lagok.

Kahit na wala namang ibinabawal na pagkain sa kanya, maliban sa mga dark colored like spaghetti and chocolate, medyo controlled yung liquid intake niya. Mino-monitor yung liquid na pumapasok sa kanya, kasi nga may tubig siya sa baga. Mini-measure din yung output niya through her urine. Mas marami, mas maganda. Mayroon pa ngang inireseta para makaihi siya. Noon ko lang nalaman na may ganoon pala.

Noong medyo malakas na siya, she asked for a sundae. Tinanong namin yung doctor kung puwede iyon. Ang sabi, “Ok lang po. Kung iyon ang makakapagbalik ng gana niya sa pagkain, ok lang. Ang importante, makakain siya.” And so I bought a sundae for her from McDonalds. Sosyalin.

  

Sosyalin

Bukambibig ni Ruthie ang salitang “sosyalin”. Kapag may nakita siyang kakaiba, maganda, o pang-mayaman, sinasabi niya, “Sosyalin.” Katulad noong minsang pumunta siya sa bahay ng kaklase niya. May swimming pool daw. Sosyalin.

When Ruthie was transferred to the ICU, she complained that she would like to go back to her previous room, sa Philhealth Ward, yung airconditioned. Mainit daw kasi sa loob ng ICU. Sosyalin.

Init na init talaga siya sa loob ng kuwarto (dala marahil ng kanyang karamdaman). Nagpapapaypay. Gusto pa tuloy-tuloy. Nagrereklamo kapag tumigil ka sa pagpaypay. Sosyalin.

Bukod sa catether, nilagyan din siya ng diaper, kung sakaling dudumi siya. Ang sabi nga ng panganay ko, si Ruthie raw ay tatlong beses magda-diaper in her lifetime – pagsilang, ngayong maysakit ito, at sa pagtanda. Ang brand ng diaper niya, Dr. P. Sosyalin.

Noong nagkasakit ang Ate niya, ang nabili naming tissue ay yung nakarolyo, bathroom tissue. Sa kanya, facial tissue. Scented pa. At, mayroon din siyang baby wipes! Sosyalin.

Hindi pa siya naoospital mula noong maliit siya. Ngayon lang. Pero huwag ka, hindi basta-basta ang ginastos namin sa gamot niya. Libo-libo. Sosyalin.

Ward

The vital signs of our daughter have stabilized after a few days, including her blood pressure. After 5 days in the ICU, we were transferred to the Ward. That means she was already out of danger. It was a relief.

Maayos na siyang nakakakain. Kahit ano – fried chicken, burger steak, noodles, etc. At nag-request pa uli ng sundae. Humihirit pa nga ng coke float pero hindi na namin pinagbigyan. Yema na lang.

May isang dumalaw sa kanya, tiyahin ng asawa ko, may dalang goto at pandesal. Yung malalaking pandesal. Naka-apat si Ruthie. Grabe! Ganito rin siya sa bahay, mahilig sa tinapay. Nangingiti kami ng asawa ko. Magaling na talaga ang anak namin!

Nag-request na rin ng babasahin. Dinala ko yung librong nahiram ng Ate niya sa kaklase nito. Sinubukan na ring magsagot ng crossword puzzle sa Philippine Star na nabili ko (pero isa lang ang kanyang nasagutan).

Isa-isa na ring tinanggal yung mga suwero niya. Isa na lang yung itinira, yung sa kaliwa. Kaso, nakaramdam na siya ng sakit sa bahaging iyon. Tinanong namin sa mga nurse, ok lang daw iyon. Hanggang sa namaga na yung braso niya. Ayun, inalis na ng tuluyan.

Dahil sa pamamaga ng kamay niya, nilagnat na naman siya. Tumamlay na naman. Sabi namin sa kanya, “Ayusin mo ang sarili mo. Baka akalain ng mga duktor may sakit ka na naman. Baka hindi pa tayo pauwiin. O baka ibalik ka sa ICU!”

Minsan, habang pinapakain namin siya, wala na namang gana. Eh natanaw naming paparating yung doctor. Sabi ko, “Ruthie! Act like you’re already ok. Smile! Dadaan yung duktor!” Ngumiti naman siya. Jeje.

Saturday, another CBC and ECG was done on her. Ok naman na lahat yung results.

Home

That Sunday morning, on my way to the hospital, I was praising the Lord. I had a feeling that she will be discharged that day and my heart was really rejoicing. I again thanked the Lord for healing Ruthie from Dengue, for allowing us to still have her in our lives. I thanked Him for His provisions, for the people that He sent to help us and to pray with us. I thanked Him that Grace and Pete has also been healed. I thanked Him that all five of us could be together again, after a week, back in our humble abode.

Hindi ko namalayan, tumutulo na naman pala ang laway ko, este, ang luha ko. Dyahi! Tapos, narinig ko na lang na tinutugtog pala sa radio ang kantang “Eenie Meenie” ni Justin Bieber. Ano ba yan?! Hindi man lang nakibagay yung kanta sa pag-i-emo ko. Naudlot tuloy.

At iyon nga, pagdating ko sa hospital, pinaayos na sa akin yung billing. Inayos ko rin yung mga resibo para may ma-refund kami kahit kaunti sa Philhealth (wish ko lang…). Nagpasalamat kami sa mga nurses at doctors, sa lahat ng kanilang kabutihan. Nagpaalam din kami sa mga nakasalamuha namin doon, sa mga magulang at kapatid ng mga pasyenteng naiwan pang naka-confine.

Around 2:30, nakalabas na kami ng ospital. May humabol pang mga bisita mula sa church, may hatid pang tulong. “Lord, sobra-sobra na ito! Salamat.”

We were about to leave when my daughter said, “Tatay, gusto ko ng Coke Float”. I smiled.