Young Father

I could still remember that time when my father and I would wake up early in the morning to find mushrooms for it was my favorite soup for breakfast. We also used to mold carabaos and pots out of clay under the pouring rain. When he leaves for work, he used to ask me how much money would I want – fifteen or twenty centavos. I would exclaim, “Fifteen Centavos”, for I was too young then to distinguish which is higher.

With my mother, what I treasure was that time when she would often bring me to the market to eat “goto’ or “pancit”, while she buys fish or meat at the stalls. There was also that time when we really had no money left and what she did was, she sewed baskets out of sacks and we sold it to a rice dealer in Marikina, in exchange for a number of kilos of rice.

Such is the relationship I had with my parents! Years went by and I observed how they dutifully managed our family. They had their share of sorrows of course, a lot, but I saw them triumphed over them. They are both funny, which somehow made handling the problem quite easy.

I was only twenty-three when I decided to get married with a friend of mine. I was so excited then. Finally, I said, I will be able to do the things that my parents did to me when I was still under their wings. I would love to imitate them. I was so excited about the idea of being a husband and eventually becoming a father. I had the impression that family life is such a beautiful thing and I am so eager to experience the challenges of being a family man.

As expected, there were many who objected. My friends and relatives have expressed their dislike about the idea of me, a young blood, embarking on what they say a “headache”. There are those who say I am too young, that I could not yet handle such a big responsibility. Others accused me of being irresponsible for after I have finished my schooling, there I was marrying, even though I have not yet helped elevate the condition of my family. Still others said I am so selfish, impulsive, childish, etc. Whew! That was tough!

But I have stood on my ground. That was what I wanted to do. They could call me or accused me of whatever crime they might think of, but that was what’s in my heart. On my mind, I was saying, “I’ll prove you wrong. You will see, I am far from what you think I am!”

My wife delivered a baby after nine months (my child was a honeymoon baby). Everything was a new experience – budgetting the money, washing my own clothes, denying myself of some needs. I change diapers, wake up in the middle of the night and make funny faces just to amuse the baby. At times, I cry while staring at my sleeping child. She is so beautiful and so innocent. I am amazed in knowing that the Lord had found me worthy to have this child.

This year will be my first to celebrate Father’s Day. Allow me to tell you that I am so proud of being father. When lining at grocery counters, I let other people see me holding a pack of diapers, baby powders, or baby foods. When going to the malls, my wife and I often go to the baby’s department, for I love to buy things for my baby. While walking on the road, I insist on carrying the baby for I want to announce to the crowd, “Hey, I am young yet am now a father. I have managed to feed and clothe this child.”

When I see young men carrying their babies, whether at the malls or in the streets, I feel like smiling and exclaiming to them, “We are the same! Congratulations!” I feel a special bonding with them for like me, they too hurdled discrimination and hardships for being a young dad. They too had suffered from the wrong impression of people that young dudes like us are irresponsible. People think we have made a mistake in marrying so early. They do not realize that the fact that we have journeyed this far only means that we are responsible individuals!

I do not discount the fact that there are trials in being a family man, especially when you’re young. I myself have shares of them. I have experienced days when I worry about my allowance for the next day. I have ridden a full packed bus because I no longer have enough money to pay for a Tamaraw FX. I have swallowed my pride in borrowing money from people. Through it all, all I could do was to pray. I acknowledge before God that I am nothing, yet he is everything. And hey, I am still here! I have survived, and I will continue to survive.

Family life is full of hardships but that is not all there is. I have so much love inside and being able to express and share it is very satisfying. And knowing that you are loved (which all of us have a need for) and appreciated for even the simplest things you do, that is great. Facing the trials yet triumphing over it, realizing how strong you can be and seeing what you are still capable of doing - that is something!

I do not ask applaud from people for this experience I deemed an accomplishment. All I know is that the Lord has entrusted to me one of His creations and I will be faithful in rearing up this child of mine, or rather this child of his. I would want to hear him say to me when I finally come to heaven, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”

(Year 1997)